.it's time to stop the game

[.xander;;]

well. xander had some fun last night. he pretty much tore up one of his bed sheets because he had been so upset over yesterday's session. hey, it was better than tearing up another person, or bawling his eyes out at 3 in the morning.

and honestly he felt a little better. although dan yelled at him when he saw the ripped up sheet.

anyway, the point is, xander came in to therapy like nothing had even happened, stopping to happily pat sam, who wagged her tail furiously and followed him to his chair.

what's up, katzi?

[lynx]

Doesn't really see why the other is so... Happy. It's a little unnerving, he was expecting a bad mood or at least a glare after what had happened yesterday. But Sam was a happy puppy and saw that nothing was wrong so he settled back and smiled at the other. "Oh, just the usual therapist stuff. How are you doing today, hm?"

[.xander;;]

xander glanced around the room for a moment or two, face hardening. he looked to be debating with himself on his next words and choosing carefully. finally, he heaved a sigh like lead and looked his therapist in the eye seriously.

actually, i want to tell you something, he began. remember when you asked me to tell you about my first time? remember kate hendrix?

[lynx]

Ponders a moment, and looks to the other, he nodded his head. "I remember, why are you bringing it up?" Not like he didn't already know because Lynx is psychic.

Or he can just read when someone's lying or not--lol. It's called reading when people are lying the signs of it class or something. Whatever. He wanted to hear whatever it was the other had to say on the matter.

He looked all intense.

[.xander;;]

well the room was twice as intense because xander looked all intense right back.

i made it up, he informed the doctor of what he probably already knew. i lied, because i didn't want to tell you the truth. because... i'm scared of the truth.

he looked down, self conscious. the truth is, julie was the first and only girl i ever had sex with. the truth is, i love her. his eyes, sad and anxious, rose again to meet katze's. i'm in love with her, lynx. i can't get over her. and that scares me. i need help, lynx.

[lynx]

Crap, he feared this. He had sadness in his eyes, nodding a bit at the other, and gestured for him to be more comfortable in his seat. "...Well..."

A frown was on his lips. "It's hard for someone to..." He sighed softly. "Let go of someone they love. You may always love her, yes, for she was your first, but you can get over her."

[.xander;;]

exasperated, xander raised his left hand to scratch roughly behind his ear. once the hand fell back down lifelessly to the armrest, he continued desperately, how?

it's not just that i gave her my virginity. she was there for me. when no one else did, she loved me. lynx, she's the only reason i didn't end up killing myself.

[lynx]

"...And then she broke your heart completely, didn't she?" He meant when she abandoned him. A frown was to his lips, feeling so much pity for poor Xander.

"It will take time for that heart to heal, but you need to accept a lot of things..." He didn't really do well with heartbreak.

[.xander;;]

the young man's bottom lip trembled. it was quite obvious that he was having difficulty holding back tears.

but that's not her fault, he insisted, shaking. i killed those people. i'm a monster. i'm a killer. who could love a killer?

[lynx]

"You'd be surprised Xander." People married serial killers in JAIL. He just said nothing... And tried to place the next of his words proper so the other wouldn't flip out on him. He pondered a minute or two more...

"Sometimes insanity drives a person to do things they cannot believe has been done..."