.the moment to live and the moment to die

[.xander;;]

at that, xander looked genuinely hurt. he liked to think that there couldn't be a subject of "him" without julie being a part of it. however, he finally decided that it would probably end up that way regardless of what lynx said to him, so he replied simply, what, then?

[lynx]

"...Xander... Why is it that you wanted to die so bad back then? That... you want to die now? What happened back then?" He asked, seriously, phrasing as to get a good explanation rather than a 'y'know... reasons...stuff...' Yeah, he was going to kick that puppy's ass if he did stupid stuff again.

And Lynx had the 'cute, honesty, really caring' eyes on, which he didn't know he had, but they were there anyways!

[.xander;;]

at this, a frustrated sigh escaped xander. this was honestly a lot for him to handle all at once. why hadn't lynx told him where he'd gone before this? it was unnerving. especially since lynx had gotten to speak to everyone xander wanted to confront. and the things he had been told... ugh.

that was then. it's different now, he finally stated. i was being an idiot. you know, puberty and teen angst and shit. i didn't have any friends, all of the family i had was either dead or ignoring me. i didn't see a point in living.

[lynx]

"At least you had a family!" He looked oddly hurt by that statement. "N-not all of us are as lucky as you to at least had grown up with a proper bed and being clothed and eating! I-I mean... ... I..." Looks like he's about to cry.

This thirty-year-old man is about to cry and he seriously just lost his virginity the night before or so to Dan Green who was so happy and sleeping off the sex.

Poor Lynx. He looked pathetic.

[.xander;;]

WOW, what a BITCH. lynx sucked. he really did. he sucked giant hairy monkey balls.

xander looked hurt right back.

that's bull, he replied, sighing frustratedly. my father left me and my mother pretended i didn't exist. you're lucky you never had a "family" to hurt you. at least you can fill up the empty space inside you. the one in me is cemented shut!

[lynx]

"You can miss what you never had." He pretty much was glaring at Xander, all hurt and such. He looked like a kicked kitty. Lol. Probably sounded like one too.

"At least you have happy memories..." He shook his head, the psychiatrist was very very sad right now and needed Dan's large, throbbing ARM TO COMFORT HIM.

Pervert.

[.xander;;]

yeah, dan's large, throbbing THIRD arm.

now xander looked down. admittedly, there was some happy in there. most of the time it felt impossible to reach under all the despair and pain.

that just makes the pain all the worse, he seemed to say more to himself than to lynx.

he looked up at the psychiatrist. i guess we're backwards. how can you be so happy, while i'm so unhappy?

[lynx]

He'd never been asked that before. Oh dear. He really didn't want to explain...

"I was abandoned at birth, found by a crazy old lady who ran a small orphanage... When they found me, I was malnourished, beaten, and severely undereducated in every way. They took me to a boarding school since it was the best place for me and... I became the top of the class, went to a prestigious university, and well, I met my grandfather there whom adopted me and helped me to get where I am today..." He had to go over it in his head.

"I... guess... Because at the end of a long walk, I found a nice place to rest, and know that nice places will always be there even if they're just a smile, or a kitten somewhere... There's always hope, no matter what. T-that's all, really..."

[.xander;;]

okay, to be honest, xander hadn't really wanted a huge explanation. it was this magical thing called a rhetorical question. but hey, whatever floated lynx's boat, he guessed... obviously he wasn't extremely concerned with his touching tale but pretended to pay attention anyway.

look at me, the lycanthrope eventually urged pitifully. can you honestly believe there's hope for someone like me?

[lynx]

"Yes."

blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank